Lettuce Entertain U Tour 2007
1. Safety: Access to a fully qualified MD specialising in throat infections, sexaully transmitted diseases and post mortems to be available on site before, during and after the shows. Also 2 hairdressers of reknown and 1 toupee repair specialist.
Organic and recyclable fist aid boxes must be placed at strategic locations in and around the dressing room. Six pack of TCP
2. Foilage:
3 No. established Bonsai trees, herb window boxes (mint, cress and parsley), 3 Triffid seedlings (must not be flowering or mature plants), rhubarb leaves. 1 No. case of BabyBio plantfood and 3 pairs of garden gloves (must be hemp)
3. Transport:
4 Humvee or Lincoln Limos with appointed Police escorts, no delays to and from the venue will be acceptable. Any infractions of this policy will be punishable by litigation.
4. Dressing Room equipment:
6 full length mirrors, 20 beach towels (green, not lime green but bottle green) and must be 100% cotton NO POLYSTER accepted and no polyster permitted anywhere near the band's dressing room or backstage, 4 hair dryers - must be hairdresser professional 5 speed and turbo version preferably Wikermonk Drya TD or similar quality, a feather duster, condom vending machine - must accept notes and change plus offer bubble gum flavour packs, 3 tins of black boot polish, a pack of Top Trumps (must be Babylon 5 series 1), 6 white tshirts and 6 large pairs of white jockeyshorts - must be silk absolutely no polyester.
5. Snack Menu:
8 baskets of exotic fruit must include American produce and be organic!
20 Cripy Tofu 'Chicken' wings, with Organic Chilli Apple dip
24 cans of Diet Coke
144 Gummi Bears
24 packs of Doritos - any flavour except nacho cheese
3 cases of caviar
3 cases of Cristal Champagne
A copy of the NY Times, USA Today, Gardeners World, American Muscle, Reader's Wives and the local paper (must include Escort classifieds supplement)
3 boxes of soft lotion handwipes
In the interests of our environment no styrofoam cups, plastic cups or virgin packing board. Only product packaging approved by our Recycling Manager will be accepted.
2 trash cans and bio-degradable liners
6. Dinner Menu:
10 super-size organic Soya sirloins, non-stressed organic potatoes, organic vegatable selection (steamed in protected atmosphere), nut-roast casserole (must be nut free and must be 100% organic), pomegranate sorbet
Organic wine from California (no foreign wines will be accepted)
Drinks shall be 144 cans of BudLite, 3 bottles of whiskey, 3 litres of mineral water, selection of herbal teas.
No meat products within a radius of 2 square miles of the band
Misc:
Minimum of 10 backstage passes to be available to special guests and love hungry bags, dressing room lighting must be by low energy bulbs. Dressing rooms must be clean and certified so by the local health department, no bugs, no polyster, rooms must be equipped with oxygen equipment, mini surgery theatre with standby generator and cardiac recusitation equipment, ample and free parking for limos, tour bus, equipment freighter and paramedics. No polyster anywhere in the building or its environs. Vimina requires vibrator compatible rechargeable batteries for personal equipment, one laundrymat, one vet surgeon and 6 phonelines.
